True to Form

Well, as always happens with me, I have let my Bible Study go as things in my life started to improve. That last phrase sounds like something else caused it to happen, though, not me. Another fault of mine! I chose to spend my time on other things, not contemplating the word of God each day. There, I said it. I'm woefully imperfect.

I didn't completely abandon all Bible Study, I just sort of let things slide here at home, in my quiet time. I have lots of excuses (Simon being home, end of the school year hustle, walking more, therefore doing more around the house and getting out more, etc, etc, etc) but the sad fact is this: when things aren't so bad, I rely on my own devices more often.

And really, isn't it a good thing that I'm feeling better? Walking better? Doing better?

Well, of course it is! But here's the thing about feeling better - if it pulls me away from a close relationship with God, what is the benefit? This brings me back around to this: what is the benefit of hard times? Is there a good that comes from suffering?

You bet! I've already written about verses that talk about everything working to the good, etc, and so many of the men who wrote the Bible were going through personal suffering that there are lots of verses that address this issue.

The verse I'm focusing on today is James 1:2-4

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Yup, you read that right - consider it joy to encounter trials because the testing of your faith produces endurance. This is what will make you strong, then, going through trials.

So - what kinds of benefits do we get from the good times? Well, it's easy. Yup - that's about it. Good times don't test our faith at all, really, do they? We coast along, sometimes even in the illusion that we're doing it all on our own! Well, bully for us, eh?

I'm praying today that, even as things get easier for me, the Lord will bring to my mind the lessons I've learned during my trials:

• He is most important
• My relationship with God is my most important relationship - all others will fall into place if this one is in good standing
• My family comes next
• My job is down the line - not as important as God or Family (go figure)
• Everything that is good about me or what I do comes from God working through me - not from my own power
  
• God working through me is pretty damn fabulous!

I start back to work (part time at first) next Monday. If you've a mind to, please pray that these lessons will be with me, and that I will approach each day prayerfully.

Remembering

The thing about trusting in God is that it is sometimes hard to remember His promises when you're in the midst of tough times and hardships. I guess that is why it is important to have memory verses and fellowship and good friends. We often have to go to those things to remind ourselves that God is good. God is loving. God's plans will not fail, even when the people making things happen are not Godly people.

I am a child of God.

I know that God's plan will come to fruition even when it seems like nothing is going right.

I know that God loves me.

I know that God will use trials and difficulties in my life to make me stronger, to give me opportunities to serve in new ways, and to bring me back to Him.


Why, though, does it have to be so hard sometimes?

Memory Verses wk 4

Again, all from the book of Isaiah. Tonight is our last class. It has gone too quickly!

Is 57:15
For thus says the high and exalted one who lives forever, whose name is Holy. "I dwell on a high and holy place, and also with the contrite and lowly of spiriti in order to revive the heart of the contrite."

Is 64:4
For from or old they have not heard nor perceived by ear, neither has the eyes seen a God besides Thee, who acts in behalf of the one who waits for Him.

Is 66:2b:
but to this one I will look, to him who is humble and contrite of spirit, and who trebles at My word.

Now to do my homework . . .

Memory verses, wk 3

Here is this week's memory verse list:

Is. 40: 27-31
Why do you say, O Jacob, and assert, O Israel, my way is hidden from the Lord, and the justice due me escapes the notice of my God?"
Do you not know? have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power. Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary.

God will not get tired and stop caring for you. He is eternal, and will always understand your needs. He will build you up. I love the end of this passage - and I know a song for it. It deserves songs, for it's a wonderful thing. If you wait upon the Lord He will renew your strength.

Teach me, Lord, to wait.


Is 46: 9-10
Remember the former things long past. For I am God, and there is no other. I am God, and there is no one like Me. Declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things which have not been done, saying "My purpose will be established, and I will accomplish all My good pleasure."


Is 55: 11
So shall My word be which goes forth from My mouth; it shall not return to Me empty, without accomplishing what I desire and without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it.

God's word will always accomplish what He intends. That is a vast, hard to grasp idea for me. So absolute.

Memory verses, wk 2

I neglected to post the memory verses from week 2, so I'll post them now.

Isaiah 26: 3-4
The steadfast of mind Thou wilt keep in perfect peace, because he trusts in thee. Trust in the Lord forever, for in God the Lord we have an everlasting Rock.

Trust - it is hard sometimes. I've heard people say - if you can't trust the one who made you, who can you trust? But here's my roadblock . . . I'm not overly impressed with the functioning of my body, ya know? It doesn't hold together well, it has a lot of flaws (heart, gall bladder, hearing, legs diff lengths, etc), and frankly, I have some issues.

So faith takes more than some kind of blind trust in some kind of sugar daddy in the sky. I have to keep my mind steadfast. I have to CHOOSE to trust Him because He has kept his promises . .. on the larger scale. I have to remember that when I am living for Him, things work out better overall than when I'm living for comfort, or ease, or work, or myself.

I have an everlasting (eternal) Rock.

Promises

Studying Isaiah, I am overwhelmed by some of the promises that God made to Isreal and Judah, and consequently to us today. This book has a lot of horrible consequences for the unbelievers, but of course, wanting to stay positive, I'm looking harder at the promises. Here are a few I've found today in my reading:

45:22
Turn to me and be saves, all the ends of the earth; for I am God, and there is no other.

46: 4
Even to your old age, i shall be the same, and even to your graying years I shall bear you. I have done it, and I shall carry you and I shall bear you and I shall deliver you.


I love the clear and direct language in some of these verses . . .
46:12-13
Listen to me, you stubborn-minded, (who, me?) who are far from righteousness. I bring near my righteousness, it is not far off; and my salvation will not delay,
and I will grant salvation in Zion,
and my glory for Israel.

49:13
Shout for joy, O heavens! And rejoice, O earth! Break forth into joyful shouting, O mountains! For the Lord has comforted His people, and will have compassion on His afflicted.

But this one really struck me this morning, for I often hold my tongue when I fear that I will face ridicule or judgement because I am a Christian:
50:4-7
The Lord God has given me the tonue of disciples, that I man know how to sustain the weary one with a word. He awakens me morning yb morning. He awakens my ear to listen as a disciple. The Lord God has opened my ear, and I was not disobedient. Nor did I turn back. I gave my back to those who strike me, and my cheeks to those who pluck out the beard. I did not cover my face from humiliation and spitting. for the Lord God helps me. Therefore, I am not disgraces' therefore, I have set my face like flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed.

I don't think there is anyone who knows me who would say that I am timid or shy, yet when faced with sharing my faith in God, I hesitate. I keep my mouth closed when I know that I have words of life. What have I to fear? Nothing! I should not be ashamed to share God's word! So what holds me back? I think I might offend someone, I fear that someone will think that I'm vaccuous or vapid for believing, and I worry that people won't like me. Did you get that? I'm worried about receiving judgement from people, who have no power to judge (and, indeed, who would lambast me at the first sign of myself being judgmental, right?)

I am praying today for boldness to show the strong, real love of God to those around me by respecting them (and myself, and God) enough to these life-affirming words of love, hope and salvation.

I will remember this verse;
53:12
But you will not go out in haste, nor will you go as fugitives; for the Lord will go before you, and the God of Israel will be your rear guard.

Memory verses, wk 1

Is 2:22
Stop trusting in man, who has but a breath in his nostrils. Of what account is he?

Is 7:9b
If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all.

I have read through a lot of history in 2Kings and 2 Chronicles, and some of it was very dry. These two verses, though, are good ones to remember. Put God first, and stand firm in your faith.

Valuable. Now I just have to actually remember them w/o looking!

First Impressions of Isaiah Class

I am still a little keyed up after a GREAT class tonight. I know I have to get up really early tomorrow morning, but I have a little energy to burn off and I wanted to just write a little.

Isaiah was a prophet during a time of great upheaval and trauma for Israel and Judah. He wrote about the covenants that God had made with Abraham, David and Moses. With all three covenants, this was a time in history when it seemed really impossible that any of them would actually be fulfilled by God, let alone that God would work things so that all three would come to pass. I'll write more about all of this later, but it was really amazing that Isaiah was writing about them all. Isaiah also wrote about idolatry and how that has broken our side of the bargains with God.

Our teacher ended the class talking about how idolatry doesn't just mean worshiping some golden idol. It can also mean anything that takes our focus off of God and turns our desires into demands. For instance, it is a natural, God-given desire to want pleasure. If you start demanding pleasure, though, and manipulating things so that you can get more and more, then it becomes an idol in your life.

I'll write more about this soon, when I have my notes out, so that I can get it all clear in my head . . . but he also asked some thought-provoking questions for ferreting out the deep-seated idols in your life:

• What causes you to be angry when it is blocked?
• What do you get anxious about?
• What devastates you, or would devastate you if you lost it? (What, if you lost it, would make you wish you were dead?)

So tonight, I'm thinking about that, and I'm praying that God is gentle with me during this learning process, because this has the potential to be really . . . well . . . challenging to face.

How great is the Spring?

I'm sure everyone feels uplifted by the sunshine we've had lately, and hopeful from seeing daffodils and crocus' blooming. I get all caught up in watching the earth come back to life again.

Tonight, I'm reading Ps 89, vs 5-8:
The heavens praise your wonders, O Lord, your faithfulness too, in the assembly of theholy ones.
For who in the skies above can compare with the Lord? Who is like the Lord among the heavenly beings?
In the council of the hole ones god is greatly fears; he is more awesome than all who surround him.
O Lord God Almighty, who is like you? You are might, O Lord, and your faithfulness surrounds you.


The Psalm goes on to talk about how God has power over all of creation. Pretty cool stuff, really. I like the image of him stilling the waves and creating things. It makes me feel peaceful and full of awe.

I'm starting a class next week on Isaiah, so that's going to occupy my studying for a while. It's been a long (very long) time since I've taken a class, so if you're praying, offer up a line to help me have a clear head!

Grace Readings

My church has been sharing around a group of readings all focused on the Grace of God and how the good news of that Grace can and often will transform lives. I'm going to be reading through this series and commenting here. (Yea, I know it's been a while since I've posted here, and I admit that I've gotten a little distracted, but that's no reason to chuck the whole project, right? I mean, God's grace can cover this, right?)

Today I'm thinking about Col 1:1-14. Paul is writing about his prayers for the Colossians and Timothy:

³We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, ⁴because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all the saints— ⁵the faith and love that spring from the hope that is stored up for you in heaven and that you have already heard about in the word of truth, the gospel ⁶that has come to you. All over the world this gospel is bearing fruit and growing, just as it has been doing among you since the day you heard it and understood God's grace in all its truth. ⁷You learned it from Epaphras, our dear fellow servant, who is a faithful minister of Christ on our^c]">[c] behalf, ⁸and who also told us of your love in the Spirit.

⁹For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. ¹⁰And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, ¹¹being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully ¹²giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you^d]">[d] to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. ¹³For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, ¹⁴in whom we have redemption,^e]">[e] the forgiveness of sins.

We could all use prayers like this, and I've been trying to pray this way about people, too. It's so pointed and clear what he hopes will happen in their lives, isn't it? Have you ever prayed that you would be "filled with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding"? Have you ever prayed that for someone else?

Just pondering, today, what it would be like to have the knowledge of his will through spiritual wisdom and understanding . . . and look at what else he is praying for them:

• live a life worthy of the Lord, pleasing to him in every way
• bear fruit in good works
• grow in the knowledge of God
• Be strenthened with power according to God's might
• have endurance
  
• have patience
• be able to joyfully give thanks to the Father (whose heir you are)

And then, by implication, he is praying that they would know they are rescued from the dominion of darkness, brought into Jesus' kingdom (redemption, forgiveness).

This is not just "God bless my friends" or "Lord, please help them" or "I'm thinking good thoughts about you". This is powerful stuff!

Think about this: if God really is the creator of the universe (and I believe he is, obviously), and if he really did arrange for this amazing gift of Grace through his son, Jesus, well, then, all these things that Paul is praying for his associates in Colossi are possible, are they not?

Amazing.

I'm going to try to dwell on these things today, and yes, I am praying this kind of prayer for people (including you few readers). Feel free to email me if you want some specific prayers or anything like that, or just comment or encourage me or something. I have time on my hands for prayers . . . and honestly, shouldn't we all be making that time?

Maybe I should try writing some letters like this. What do you think?

Psalm 91

This is the second verse suggested by my friend, Suzie (my brother's gf).

Ps 91, 1-2:
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most high will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."

I love this imagery of dwelling in the shelter of God. Think about what that would be like, to be right there, sheltered by the creator of the universe. It's akin, for me, to sitting on my Daddy's lap when I was scared as a child. It's like getting a warm hug from Mom when things are rotten. It's like a sweet moment with my husband or son, when it's unexpected and totally selfless.

Thankfully, I've had all of those other shelters in my life, and I've often felt God's shelter, too. What a blessing this is.

Cast all your Cares

My friend, Suzie, sent me a great email that I read this morning. She sent along 2 excellent verses for me to ponder, and I'm going to use them one at a time for my devotions. Today's verse is Ps. 55:22: Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.

This Psalm shows the writer in great despair (David is really very dramatic a lot of the time), and he talks about how his thoughts trouble him, his enemies surround him, and his companion, his close friend, has betrayed him. Then, about 2/3 through the Psalm we see the hope.

It starts with vs. 16: But I call to God, and the Lord saves me. Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress and he hears my voice. He ransoms me, unharmed, from the battle waged against me, even though many oppose me. God, who is enthroned forever, will hear them and afflict them.

I don't really have people who are enemies, but as I said before, my enemies are boredom, despair and being overwhelmed by the journey ahead of me. Thing is, with God on my side, I needn't fear any of it. So far I'm not bored, I'm not despairing, and I'm not, at this moment, overwhelmed.

I'm doin' ok.

Encouragement

I have to admit I've been a little blue today. I woke up with a bit of a cold, and it's discouraging. I'm weak, tired, clogged up, draining badly (makes it harder to sleep- as if I needed that!), and just generally feeling fidgetty w/o being able to really do anything!

Here is what I did manage to do today, despite my blues:

• Walk 3-5 steps further with the walker than ever before
• Take a nap on the couch, out of my recliner! Say yay!
• Open all the bandages for about 1/2 an hour and let it all air out - feels good!
• Get Si to help me clean off the guest bed for a little while. I think I might try sleeping in that bed tomorrow night- say yay again!
• Open the Bible again for inspiration, and behold, I find encouragement on every page. So many good verses, but I'll do just one, the last one I glanced at . . .

1 Peter 5:6-7
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

He cares for you . . . he cares for me . . . he will lift me up in due time. Sigh. What a comforting thought to go to sleep with.

Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming . . .

Watching Finding Nemo tonight, and it seems so appropriate for recovery/rehab. Talk about a great message of keeping on!

I'm reading Romans 5 today, about our position in Christ. We can rejoice in suffering, because of our position. Verses 3-5 include:

because suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character and character hope. And hope does not disappoint us.

Hope.

Just think about what you can accomplish if you have those things: perseverance, character and hope. It's like the triumverate of success! If you can keep hopeful, if you can persevere, and if you can stay strong in your character, you can do just about anything.

You can swim through the ocean, against all odds, and find your lost fish-son, you can recover from painful injury, you can survive terrible loss and sadness . . . and you can deal with disappointments in life.

Now, add in the amazing strength you can find in partnering with God, the creator of the universe. Relying on that relationship we have (or can have) with God through the gift of grace in Christ's sacrifice can add to your strength, build up your hope on a dreary day, and help you see the possibilities of hope.

Here's the rest of this incredible verse:

hope does not disappoint us because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

So, in the words of Dory, the fish with short-term memory loss, I will just keep swimming, swimming, swimming . . .

(Thanks to Maggie for sharing this verse with me on gtalk today)

taking refuge

Psalm 57

Have mercy on me, O god, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge.
I will take refuge in the shadow of your wing until the disaster has passed.

I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills his purpose for me.
He sends from heaven and saves me, rebuking those who hotly puruse me;
god sends his love and his faithfulness.



I can take refuge in these things, knowing that God will use this time for my benefit. I had a great conversation with one of my dearest, oldest, most special friends this afternoon. (Hi Scott!) We've shared so much over the years, and I've always been able to tell him anything and everything. He lives in Oak Park, IL now, and is studying to be a Unitarian Universalist Minister. His beliefs and faith are different from mine on many levels, but his grace, compassion and kindness know no boundaries.

As I was talking to Scott today, I was finally able to vocalize what I've been thinking these last few days: God didn't cause this to happen, but I know that He loves me, and that He can use these circumstances to bless me greatly. I really believe that, too. I just have to allow myself to be blessed in this. I need to allow God into my life again, spend time with Him regularly, and see what happens.

In short, if I cry out to Him, he will save me, again and again and again.

what makes us successful?

Chatting on FB with a friend right now, she mentioned this verse, in response to some frustrations I was sharing about work lately:

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

It is important to remember that God has a plan, and that His plans for us are always better than our plans. This point has come up a lot with friends on twitter, too, so I know God is trying to help me remember it.

Basic History/background

I fell on the ice on January 30, 2009. One quick slip, and it totally destroyed my right leg.

I had surgery Feb 12 to repair the tibia. The surgeon put in 2 screws and a metal plate. Once the bone is healed and strong again, I'm most likely going to need a knee replacement because 3 of my 4 knee ligaments are torn, and some sort of fix will need to happen.

All that said, I have felt, for the last few years, further and further from God. I hope to use this rehabilitation time not only to heal my leg, but also to learn to walk with God again, taking refuge in his comfort and Grace.

This blog will be my record of this journey - learning to walk physically again, as well as spiritually. I just shared the following with some church friends:

If you don't mind, I'd love to share a little daily devotion with you today. This is my first step back towards re-building my relationship with God.

Feeling the need for comfort, I opened randomly in the book of Psalms, and it opened to Psalm 16:
Keep me safe, O God, for in you I take refuge.
I said to the Lord, "You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing."

Seems like an excellent place to start, eh? I have no good things w/o God, so where else could I possibly find appropriate refuge?

I can tell you all are praying for me. Thank you for your faithfulness,